Orientation Guide for Stateside Living
Narrative from Mike Corr
Joe here is something you might find amusing and wish to share with others. While going through my junk box the other
day I found a piece of folded yellow teletype paper (the kind of multi-ply that I once had to spend several hours with a
"defective roll" trying to get the carbon paper properly back between the sheets). Early in my 20 years as both a CT"T"
brancher and cryppie officer, I spent 2 "wonderful" years between 1969-1972 on Guam, however due to Acey-Ducey
Club at NAS, I probably only remember about 3 months of it. It was pre-modern times on Guam, just 2 A&W RootBeer
stands for burgers, Sourgose's for something they called pizza, and many wonderful watering holes like Big Johns and the Mi Club in Asan. I did see the dawn of civilization on Guam however when the MacDonalds opened just before I
transferred. Anyway the attached orientation guide circulated at that time to those about to return to the "Real World".
Share it if you'd like.
Mike Corr (CTT2/LCDR-Ret)


The United States is an unusually large island, bisected in the center by the Mississippi River. Everything east of
the river is a suburb of the capital of this section of the country. It is called Brooklyn. Everything west of this river is called Texas. Some sections have local names such as Colorado, Iowa, or California. Food is generally plentiful; but in some areas, pancit and lumpia are almost unobtainable. You will be forced to change your eating habits to adjust to the large variety of fresh fruits and vegetables available. Meats will lack the unique flavor of New Zealand beef. On restaurant menus you will find such items as fresh mushrooms, lettuce, and tomatoes. These are native dishes, but some people learn to like them as much as cabbage and salad dressing. There is a type of milk that comes fresh in cartons. This is not as rich as canned milk, but is a fair substitute for reconstituted and other varieties you have been enjoying. Almost all theaters have a roof, so carrying a raincoat, cushion, and umbrella will attract attention to you and make people think you are peculiar. Many of the movies you will see will be new and entertaining; if this bothers you, you may get up and leave. Because you will be under a roof, you will not be able to look up and see the stars, but by the same token you will not be rained upon either. Radio is more complicated in the states. One must learn to turn the station dial as well as the volume control to select one of the numerous stations. Listen carefully because the programs are seldom repeated. Avoid television for the first few months, as it is entirely too involved. You will find that there is no place in the states where it is hot and humid all year around, so no one will accept that as your reason for drinking. Neither will you be able to use the excuse that liquor is so cheap you can't afford not to drink. You will have to think of another excuse, such as homesickness for the islands. You will not have to wait for ammunition trucks to cross while you are driving on the many highways...and you may miss the sight of "Guam Bombs" and jeeps, as the majority of the people drive nice looking cars. You will miss the singing of the lizards. . .those pink, slithering, bug-eating friends known to us as "geckos" which you are used to having as house-guests. While driving you may notice the absence of crunching sounds, snails will only be found on fancy restaurant menus. You will not be required to mow your lawn regularly the year round. More often than not however, you will have to redistribute the local white variety of water commonly known as snow. You will find that snow is colder than sand, but it does not leave a rust-colored stain. Palm fronds on the lawns will not be a problem however, leaves will be because they are much more difficult to keep on the curb for pick-up. Most houses are not concrete and typhoon resistant and you will find that they all have windows in the walls and that the plastic is quite hard. Each house is quite different and you will be confused by the colors on the exteriors and the fact that most of them face the street. You will no longer have the pleasure of reading three or four newspapers at one time, as they are delivered on the same day they are printed. Telephones come in different colors and shapes and in the majority of cases when your phone rings it will be for you and not the tool crib, beauty shop, or the Leon Guerreros.